White Picket Fences by Kyle Ann Robertson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Julie grew up in a military family and as a military brat found herself moving from place to place. Nothing in her life was ever permanent and she vowed that when she had a family of her own, they would never experience a life like that. Julie worked hard to achieve that goal and when she got married with kids of her own she ensured that they had a forever home, in a forever neighborhood, complete with forever friends. Going through the motions she did everything for her family to make the best life possible for them but somewhere in the process she not only lost her sense of self but felt trapped in the life she created.

Julie finds herself feeling as though her family takes her granted and does not appreciate what she does for them. In a moment of weakness, Julie does something out of character and takes a moment to herself. That one moment changes everything and when her family needs her the most, she is not there for them. Her life and everything she worked so hard to create suddenly starts to spiral out of control when she loses her young son. Overwhelmed by grief, guilt, and thoughts of what-if, Julie finds herself struggling to keep her family together. The harder she tries, the farther she seems to drive them away.

This was a beautiful and poignant story that had me reaching for the box of Kleenex more than once. Julie’s story is one that will resonate with many women who have experienced similar situations. As a wife and mother, we often overlook our own needs and focus on those of our family. We do everything we can to keep them happy and show them that we love them through the things we do everyday. Cooking them their favorite meal, keeping a clean home, and ensuring everything is perfect. In the process we often feel as though we go unnoticed, feel taken for granted, and feel unappreciated. We lose our sense of self and no longer identify as anything other than who we are when we are with them.

In Julie’s case she struggled with all of this while simultaneously dealing with the sudden loss of a child. She was already feeling a discord in her family life and this tragedy only caused a farther rift between the family. Each member of the family is dealing with the loss in a different way, and they start to drift apart. Suddenly everything Julie holds dear to her is being ripped away from her and she risks losing it forever. This was beautifully written, and I felt as though I was reading Julie’s personal diary about her innermost thoughts and feelings.

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