Several years ago, I saw a cover of this book on Amazon and it wowed me so I bought the book without reading any of the reviews or the synopsis. The first couple of pages dropped my jaw and I went “WTF am I reading?” because I find it impossible to not finish a book I start, I continued reading and to this day it is in my top 5 best books ever. The entire series blew me away and I fell in love with that author, Courtney Cole.
Fast forward a little over 4 years later and I see she has written a new book called Saving Beck. If you have ever been touched by addiction especially as the loved one of an addict then this book will touch you in so many ways. The author takes a very serious epidemic and weaves it into a heart wrenching story on so many levels. This book will showcase how even when you think it can’t happen to your family, you can never predict. It shows that no matter who you are it can happen to you.
This book had me in tears from beginning to end because I could feel the hurt, the questions, the frustration, the pain, the self-questioning and most importantly the realization that no matter how much you love someone, no matter how much you love the addict, no matter how much you give, sacrifice, and try to mend them, only they can mend themselves. Only they can make the end choice to move forward. It reminds you, that it’s not your battle, that you can’t love them out of the addiction, you can’t anger them out of the addiction, you can’t guilt or beat them out of the addiction, and that sometimes all you can do is sit back, love, hope, and most of all pray that it all works out, knowing that not everyone can be saved.
Courtney Cole, writes this story with such truth and gusto. Her words grab you by the heart and squeeze. She brings you to tears and to your knees, and makes you “hear” all the things you don’t want to hear as the loved one.
Some of my favorite quotes were :
“ Doing drugs is easy. Doing life is hard. And sometimes, we have to hide from it in the best ways we can”
“ People like to carry their burdens with them, she said. We feel like if we punish ourselves long enough for everything that has gone wrong in life, we’ll somehow make it right again by our own misery.”
“They have him on medication to help the withdrawal, but it’s still a struggle for him. Beck is the one who has to do the heavy lifting. He’s the one who lives with the constant need to use. All I can do is be there for him.”