No Pistol Tastes the Same by Jacob Paul Patchen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This story and review contains many trigger warnings and is only for those over 18 and is a heavy, but interesting read and deals with a lot of emotions and mental health related issues.

Sergeant JP Grimm is a marine, a veteran and he has a wonderful family, a wife, a son and two loving grandparents, but when he came back from war, something had changed, something was different and that something was about to tear him apart.

This story starts in a desert, a desert across the other side of the world from his home, this is where he trained, lived and laughed with his team, this is where they worked together on missions and spent their downtime together when no out on patrol, this team became like brothers to JP, but one day, while on a mission, they had almost completed their mission when a child comes out from behind a building, a child that looked so much like his own son, a child who he knew he should shoot on site, but how can you kill a child? How can you shoot down an innocent? All this went through JP’s mind and more in the instant before he saw the remote in the child’s hand and the instant before that child blew up his team members, the instant in which he didn’t pull the trigger and save them.

After recovering from the after affects of that trauma, JP returns home to his family, his son and his life, but as he tries to come to terms with everything that happens, he reacts as though he is still in that hell of a desert, surrounded by death and destruction. He tries to reconnect to that life before war, but he is struggling and so are those around him, everything reminds him of the past and he cannot shake the visions, thoughts and emotions which chase him when the sun sets until the sun rises again bringing another day of hope. However, it seems that the world is against him and is becoming embroiled in a fiery doom of its own, as the Earth’s magnetic field reduces and the sun flares increase and everything is surrounded by uncertainty.

As he spirals, JP pushes away everyone and everything he holds dear until he feels that he has nothing left, until he tastes his pistol and tastes the bourbon, but does every pistol taste the same, or are there other things that taste better? Can JP bring himself back from the brink and work through the nightmares which plague him? Will his family allow him space while giving him the support he needs, or will they leave him to fight this fight alone? As internal and external worlds spin out of control in this heavy read, you learn about PTSD and how it affects the mind and body, both increasing your knowledge, empathy and understanding, as well as being an interesting and engrossing read throughout.

Reviewed by @roxsannel

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